And Nothing Else Matters
by i'mnotcrazy82
Summary: A Huddy one-shot based on the song "Nothing Else Matters. Spoilers for 5x20-5x23. Rated M. Language, STRONG sexual content. I warned you...


_**This is a one shot song fic based on Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters.**_

_**I don't own the right to neither Metallica, any of their songs, or House MD.**_

_**Thank-you**_

_**So close, no matter how far  
Couldn't be much more from the heart **_

He heard a knock on his door. He was sitting at the piano; his fingertips lightly brushing the keys. He looked up, and he wondered if he should answer it. He was tired, so tired. The past few weeks had hit him like an emotional locomotive. Even Wilson thought he had finally went over the edge. He didn't need to hear anymore psychobabble bullshit. He just wanted the ride to stop.

The knocking became even more incessant. He finally gave up on trying to ignore it. He wearily got to his feet, and he hobbled over to the door. He hissed through his teeth. It was her. She was the last person he wanted to see, and he certainly didn't want her to see him like this. With the weight of the consequences of his actions on his shoulders. He sighed, closing his eyes, and he opened the door.

"What do you want." _Now go away. I don't want you to see me like this. Like the train wreck that I am...that I've become._

_  
**Forever trusting who we are  
and nothing else matters **_

She stood in front of his apartment door, nervously shifting her weight from one foot to the other. She knew he didn't want her here, but after Wilson told her about his frame of mind, she knew that she had to come, to plead him to seek some help. She didn't want to lose him, physically or mentally. There had been far too many losses this year, too many tears shed. She knew that she had to make sure he was alright.

When she heard the door open, her heart lodged itself in her throat. She stared into those cool, haunted blue eyes, and she saw the demons. Her heart broke, and she had to fight to keep the tears from spilling down her cheeks. She didn't want him to deal with her breaking down for him. When he spoke, it was a hoarse croak. She'd only heard him speak like that once, and that was Christmas Eve, over two years ago. The night he'd nearly O.D.'d. She swallowed, forcing the lump in her throat down.

"I...I came to make sure you're okay. _Because you need me...because I love you, and I don't want you to become lost..._

_  
**Never opened myself this way  
Life is ours, we live it our way**_

He stared at her, not knowing what to say. His head was telling him to slam the door, that he didn't want her pity or concern, but his heart nearly broke when he saw the unshed tears that were misting in her eyes. The hard ass in him won.

"You've seen me, now you can go." _But don't...you're here. Break down my door, something. Don't leave me alone..._

_  
**All these words I don't just say  
and nothing else matters** _

She wasn't surprised at the harshness of his words. In fact, she had come to expect it from him. For as long as she had known him, he had never been able to open up, to express his emotions. She had learned long ago to read between the lines.

"Look, House, can I at least come in." _You need me, I see it. I know you're hurting. I am, too. Let me in...._

**Trust I seek and I find in you  
Every day for us something new **

He narrowed his eyes. He didn't want her to go, but he knew he just couldn't agree to her stay. He gritted his teeth, and he closed his eyes. She had stood beside him for so long, never asking for thanks. She trusted him, and he had trusted her. He'd put his life in her hands more than once, and she had always been there. She had been the one to hold his hand. She was a reassuring presence in his life that he had never appreciated, and he had always felt like he ad taken advantage of her.

"No, don't you have a kid or something to get back to." _Fight my demons for me, please. Don't go! I need you...._

_  
**Open mind for a different view  
and nothing else matters **_

She closed her eyes at his barb, willing herself to be strong. She knew that he would try push her away, that he didn't want her to care, but she did. She had to stand strong, to ignore his well placed digs. She inhaled sharply, and she forced herself to stand up straight, to look him in the eyes. She would not let him win. He needed her.

"Baby-sitter's are a wonderful invention." _Don't deflect. Let me in. There's got to be a chink in your armor somewhere..._

**never cared for what they do  
never cared for what they know  
but I know **

He stared at her for a long moment. She deflected almost as well as he did. How long have they danced this dance? He wanted her to be happy, and if she was with him, she never could be. They would never be that happy couple in the suburbs, with the dog and the fence and the kids. Fuck, he could barely take care of himself, let alone her.

"Pawning your brat on someone else already?" _Ignore that. It's not you I'm trying to hurt. I can't, I just can't..._

**So close, no matter how far  
Couldn't be much more from the heart  
Forever trusting who we are  
****and nothing else matters **

She saw the longing in his eyes. There were demons there, for sure, but she saw a glimmer of something else. A glimmer of the young man she had fallen in love with all those many years ago. Back then, he had dreams, he was whole. He had been an ass, for certainty, but he was much more happy-go-lucky. The cares, worries, and pain that now lined his face had a deep impact on his psyche. She said the first thing that came to mind, before the that glimmer was gone forever.

"Do you want to kiss me?" _I said it! Oh my god, I said it. What if...what if he doesn't..._

**never cared for what they do  
never cared for what they know  
but I know **

His eyes grew wide. He didn't know what to say. He wanted her. He had always wanted her. He had been a selfish fucking bastard to her on several occasions, chasing off her suiters. He had felt the green dragon of envy swell inside him every fucking time he had seen someone else with her. He felt the walls crumbling down. It was now or never.

"I always want to kiss you."_ I said it! Oh my god, what have I done. I can't love you like you deserve..._

**Never opened myself this way  
Life is ours, we live it our way  
All these words I don't just say **

Her heart did back flips inside her chest. He wanted her, but she knew that. He had fought it all these years. Why now. Did he hurt that badly? Was it his emotional state? She felt her heart start racing, beating out his name.

He lowered his head, and she instinctively closed her eyes. He had wanted this; he needed this. To touch her, to feel her. She was the light to his dark, the angel to his devil. He wanted her so badly it hurt. He needed her warmth.

He pressed his lips to hers, softly at first, then becoming much more demanding. His tongue pressed against her closed lips, demanding for entrance. His arms went around her waist, pulling her closer to him. He needed her, wanted her.

She parted her lips, allowing him access to her mouth. She moaned as he crushed her against his body. It was as if he was dying of thirst, and she was the life-giving water he needed. She wound her arms around his neck, feeling the tense muscles in his back. One hand wound itself in his hair, down his face, back up to his hair.__

**Trust I seek and I find in you  
Every day for us, something new **

_**Open mind for a different view  
and nothing else matters **_

He suddenly broke off the kiss; his eyes wide. He pushed her back, and he limped toward the bathroom. He felt sick, and he was sweating. He needed to escape. He didn't want to drag her down with him. The pills, they were there, in the cabinet. They allowed him to function. That had been his excuse for all these years. He needed them, because he didn't want to drag her down with him.

It took her a few seconds to recover from her shock. She chased him down the hall, and she watched in horror as he stumbled. She rushed to his side, cursing herself for not catching him. He was on his side, and she saw the tears that spilled down his face. In the twenty years that they had known each other, she had only seen him cry once, and that was right after the surgery. _The surgery that I okayed. The surgery that maimed him. That put him in pain._

_**never cared for what they say  
never cared for games they play **_

She put her hand on his shoulder, and he winced, pulling away from her. "Don't touch me. Are you really that fucking stupid. I don't want you to touch me!" _Don't look at me. I don't want you to see me like this, less than a man. I'm worthless, a weakling. I don't deserve you, your loyalty, or your love..._

Her steel gray eyes met his dull ocean blue ones. "I don't believe that." She let the dam break, and tears fell down her cheeks. "I want you... I need you...." she choked out the words, leaning in to meet his lips again.

He didn't fight this kiss, and their tears mingled. He rolled her over on her back, pulling her clothes off. Desire and lust fought with anger and frustration. Her hands were everywhere, pulling his clothes off of him. He pulled open her shirt, running his hands over her breasts. His heart pounding, he leaned in to kiss her neck, biting and sucking on the sensitive skin. He worked his way down her neck, over her collarbone. His nimble fingers made hasty work of her bra. He continued to work his way down her body, one hand pulling off her skirt, while the other teased her pert nipple. He slid two fingers down the front of her panties, teasing the soft curls. "Do you want this?" he panted.

She leaned up, and she kissed him hard. Her hand flew to his belt buckle, and she unzipped his jeans. When she came up for air, she looked him square in the eyes, desire sending sparks out from them. "I've wanted this for nearly twenty years, you stupid ass." She kissed him again, arching her body against him. She wanted to feel his body against hers, the soft hairs on his chest teasing her sensitive nipples.

He couldn't wait any longer. He'd waited nearly twenty years. He tugged down his jeans and boxers, and he pulled off her panties. There was no foreplay. He needed to be inside her, to feel her warmth. He slammed into her, burying his face in her neck. She was tight, but wet and warm. She cried out in ecstasy. He held a fast and dirty rhythm, and she met him, bucking her hips and winding her legs around his waist. It was fast and dirty, and it left them breathless afterwards. He rolled off of her, and he wrapped his arms around her, not caring that they were still on the bathroom floor. He closed his eyes, and a dark and dreamless sleep overtook him._  
_

_**never cared for what they do  
never cared for what they know  
and I know **  
_

He opened his eyes, and she was gone. He was still naked, so he knew that it couldn't have been a dream. He slowly got to his feet, and he limped to his bedroom. He looked at his clock and blinked. He had been asleep for nearly a day and a half. He grabbed some clothes, and he showered and dressed, his mind still processing the memories.

After he had dressed, he sat down on his couch. He leaned his head back, and he closed his eyes. What had happened to him. He could still hear her cries, feel her underneath him. She had never been far from his thoughts, but now he couldn't get rid of her. And she had just left him there. He bit his lip, wondering if he had scared her off for good.

_  
**So close, no matter how far  
Couldn't be much more from the heart **_

_**Forever trusting who we are  
No, nothing else matters **_

A knock at the door shook him from his musings. His head snapped up, and somehow, he knew it was her. He opened the door, and he tried not to smile when he saw her. His heart began to beat fast, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to turn her away this time.

She smiled softly at him, and she was happy that the light had come back to his eyes. She softly said, "do you want to kiss me?" Wondering what his response would be this time.

"I always want to kiss you," and he leaned in, softly pressing his lips against hers. She wound her arms around his neck, and in a whirlwind of lust, they made their way to his bedroom._**  
**_


End file.
